Blessed

This past week has been long, tough, and irritating. College is draining, homecoming weekend was wild, and on top of everything I taught Sunday School this morning while our lead teacher was out of town. Needless to say I am exhausted.

This morning in my Sunday School class, Shea talked a lot about accountability and friendship (or maybe he talked a lot about other stuff and that's what I heard because it's what I needed). In high school I maintained a pretty consistent "buffer zone," only getting close to a few people and keeping the rest at a safe distance. Shea talked about how difficult it is to be honest with people about your sin and I was dying inside. Opening up and being honest with people isn't exactly my specialty, especially when discussing my shortcomings with my "perfect" friends.

After hearing Shea's lesson this morning, I really felt God laying things on my heart about my friendships and if I'm truly being held accountable or if I'm merely living how I want to and keeping up the facade. To be last year was a wandering year for me, and my shortcomings make up quite the long list. My sins were not merely lying to my parents or sneaking out; they were much darker and they bore much steeper consequences. This time of year, I am very aware of these sins. A year ago tomorrow I made the single-most regretted decision of my life, and it haunts me almost every day.

I say all this to set the scene, per-say. As I pondered how much I hate to see tomorrow roll around, I texted my friend Alainna. We haven't been good friends for all that long, but she's someone I trusted and I so needed to get some things off my chest. I poured my heart out to her and to my surprise she could relate to my poor decisions. My "perfect" friend is actually a real person! She so blessed me today just by listening to my rants and rambles, and I am so grateful to have her as a friend. Lord knows I needed her for this day exactly and for many days to come.